from p.4 on Mon., 11/27

You told me
"I'll be here forever."

Understanding you is
crazy.

So I wrote this
song.


-----


Why do I feel like I'm always running,
always chasing after someone
or something?

Why do I feel like I'm never breathing,
wondering,
wandering,

giving all I have for one
specific thing?


-----


It's happy at first,
but bittersweet
if you think
too hard.


------


And as for me,
I am simply a necessary filler--
merely part of the background
painting to make up the lives of others.

And as for me,
the question lies:
am I truly living, or
am I nothing more
than just alive,
breathing without
much of a meaning?

from p.1 on Mon., 11/27

Somewhere
over the rainbow,

Lay hills of
salt and poison.

A time in the
night,
shines my rainbow.


-----


I stopped saying
"I love you"
because I thought it
was losing meaning.

But really,

I am just
losing
feeling.


-----


Nearer I become
to the icy solitude.
It breaking beneath
me,
as I glide
across my own,
brand new,
paved path.


------


Wind blowing back my
hair
as I skate away.

Rushing water on my
right.

Him on my left,

And I can breathe again.

from p.1 on Mon., 11/13

Breath.
Tension.
Pull.
Explosion.
Waves.
Nothing.


-----


I lit your cigarette,
the smoke blew soft
on my face
and
I fell into
Wonderland as I took your tobacco
kiss addicted to you.


-----


Take me back
to owhere time
stands still,
when the music
was loud and
the children
went outside,
to the aesthetics of my home,
painted the sky.


-----


Little noses flattened
against a window,
curious eyes glued on
tiny airplanes rising
from the ground--bringing
up their excitement with
it.

from p.4 on Mon., 11/13

let me fold myself
inside
out,

and show you my blue
veins,

like future tears flowing
through my broken body,

and my bleeding heart,
barely beating hart,
that is MY light dying
out.


-----


Stacy wept on the
ground, pounding her fist
into the ruined grass, defeated.

I looked on, blissfully
removed.


-----


I wnt her to know
that this moment will not remain this moment.

The boy
whom seh thinks she loves
is just a dent in the surface
of her hart.

Dents reshape.

The world
that she knows to be cruel
is actually her shelter
from the greater unknown.


-----


We were falling away.
You left me with a bittersweet
taste.

But when I send my heart your way,
it bounces off the walls you
made.

Ricochet.

from p.4 on Mon., 11/6

I woke up.
I went downstairs.

My boyfriend
said we need to break
up.

So I started to cry.
He walked out of the door.
But then,

I woke up,
I went downstairs.
It was all a dream,

but it was true!


-----


I see her with
everything together.

I just want my days
to have a purpose.

But it's easier to watch
the world
go by.


-----


Our futures and dreams:
they're fleeting, retreating,
it's okay.

I promise

I don't know what to say,
but I'm going to want you 'till
the stars evaporate.

We're only here for just a moment,
until next we're in the night.


-----


Your eyes have
become the color of
the sky I wake up to
day after wretched day.

from p.1 on Mon., 11/6

intertwined in a hug,
one's true love,
we will find a
way

through the prickly
bushes of their
words.


-----


Nostalgic music,
smell, movies,
shower me in memory.

Christmas on its
way.

Happier than I've been,
I pray it lasts for the snow
could coat my past.


-----


The chill of the sun
and the heat of the
game.

A cold heart,
and a cold heart,
wild.

Where did it all go?


-----


Drives on South Broadway.
Trash cars.
Thrift stores.

We could drive for
hours,
looking at old memories,
as time passes by.

Listening to his
favorite tunes.

from p.4 on Mon., 10/30

I waited for hours upon hours,

he promised he'd come.

Once again he abanodned me.

You promised you
changed,
but
you
wont.


-----


Through familiar halls
I strode,
the haunts of days
past calling to me,

but follow them,
I shall not!

For I must escape
this place, with or
without you.


-----


The frigid
wind freezes
me, for a few moments in
fright so I can't
feel my frozen
fingers
flexing.


-----


Chicken on chicken
on chicken on
chicken...

I want to go home...

why do I work here?

from p.1 on Mon., 10/30

I bite into the
sweetness of a
summer carrot.

Tears streaming
down face.

I remember how
instead of the
summer hugs, I
got the winter goodbyes.


-----


Arms wrapped in eachother.

You are the cement
holding me together.

The sun erupting
in the East
could not burn brighter
than us.


-----


Shrimp and
sparkling juice.